June 22nd, 2007

loki

Come Sail Away

I came to the realization just a few moments ago how incredibly special my parents are, my mother mostly.  While most of my friends complain about their parents, I don't have anything bad to say about them.  My grandmother's lying on her bed and only has a few days left.  My mother took care of her last year when she hurt her shoulder.  She amazes me with her ability to make my grandmother comfortable.  This whole experience is so taxing on my mother, who was very close to my grandmother.  This grandmother is on my father's side, so she's my mom's mother-in-law and she's the closest of all of my grandmother's daughter-in-laws.  I have never met anyone that can be so compassionate towards someone in my life and I didn't realize it until just now.  I'm terrified at what's going to happen.  My grandmother has been sick since April, but it hasn't really hit me until last night when my dad told me how bad she was.  My grandmother was always active, walking all the time.  She was always up and about and when I got here last night she was laying on her bed hardly able to move.  She was just barely conscious but she recognized me, my face, not my voice since I hadn't said anything.  There isn't really a line of thought to this entry, it's just whatever comes to mind.  I don't know what's going to happen when she's finally gone.  I haven't really thought of what it will be like.  I'm sort of taking this a moment at a time.  We're staying here tonight and I'll be going home tomorrow since I have to work.  I don't know if I'm going to go in, depending on what happens tonight.  I hope nothing happens, but I don't know how I'll be able to concentrate at work tomorrow.  My head hasn't stopped hurting since yesterday.
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